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without permission. We believe that all the listings, joke and quotes,
are in the public domain and not copywrited. Please email
us if you know differently.
"A dog is like a liberal. He wants to please everybody. A cat really
doesn't need to know that everybody loves him." - William Kunstler
"The slowest barker is the surest biter." - Unknown
"If you cannot bite, don't show your teeth." - Yiddish Proverb
"To live long, eat like a cat, drink like a dog." - German Proverb
"The biggest dog has been a pup." - Joaquin Miller
"A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away." - Unknown Dog
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up
all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate
in their object-relations." - Sigmund Freud
"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around." - cowboy wisdom
"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected
with the concept of what I should be doing." - Lonzo Idolswine
"A house without either a cat or a dog is the house of a scoundrel."
- Portuguese Proverb
"Dogs eat. Cats dine." - Ann Taylor
"According to ancient Greek literature, when Odysseus arrived home
after an absence of 20 years, disguised as a beggar, the only one
to recognize him was his aged dog Argos, who wagged his tail at
his master, and then died."
"The Beatles song Martha My Dear was written by Paul McCartney about
his sheepdog Martha."
"The name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box is Bingo."
"According to tests made at the Institute for the Study of
Animal Problems in Washington D.C., dogs and cats, like people,
are either right-handed or left-handed; that is, they favor either
their right or left paws."
"There are 701 types of pure breed dogs."
"No Matter how little money and how few possessions you own,
h having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin
"Dogs are our link to paradise." - Milan Kundera
"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited
to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother."
- Bonnie Schacter, Founder of the Single Pet Owner's Society Singles
Group
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy
or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon
is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was
peace." - Milan Kundera
"I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than
all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world."
- Samuel Johnson
"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because
of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like
this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll ion a dead fish."
- James Gorman
"A dog is a prose, a cat is a poem." - Jean Burden
"Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies."
- Adrienne Gusoff
"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a
king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas
with some good ideas." - Jack Handey
"If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of
owning one." - Andrew A. Rooney
"If you don't own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily
anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your
life." - Roger Caras
"Our dogs, like our shoes, are comfortable. They might be a
bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit
well." - Bonnie Wilcox
"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping
where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
- Anonymous
"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner
can express with his tongue in hours." - Anonymous
"Never judge a dog's pedigree by the kind of books he does
not chew." - Anonymous
"You always sympathize with the underdog, except when the other
dog is yours." - Anonymous
"I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures
of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles."-
Steven Wright
"It was a slow day in heaven so God phoned Satan to see what was
going on down there. 'It's slow here, too', said Satan 'Well,' God
said, 'I think a dog show might be fun.' 'Sounds good', says Satan,
'But why are you calling me? You've got all the dogs up there.'
'I know,' answered God, 'But you've got all the judges.'"
"The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs." - Madame Roland
"Anyone who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog"
- - Franklin P. Jones
If Lassie were a cat, little Timmy would be dead. - ratstocats.com
Actual bumper stickers found on actual cars:
- Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking
the dog. Dorothy.
- I love cats...they taste just like
chicken.
Brothers and Sisters I bid you beware Of giving your heart for a
dog to tear. - Kipling
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
troopers and a dog.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
"Killing the dog does not cure the bite" - Abraham Lincoln
"To a dog the whole world is a smell" - Anonymous What is black
and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman. What do skeletons
have nightmares of? Dogs.
"Three dog night" (attributed to Australian Aborigines) came about
because on especially cold nights these nomadic people needed three
dogs (dingos, actually) to keep from freezing. I've been on so many
blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
"I want a dog of which I can be proud," said Mrs. Newlyrich.
"Does that one have a good pedigree?" "Oh, yes," declared the
kennel owner, "if he could talk, he wouldn't speak to either of
us." - from Braude's Treasury of Wit and Humor
Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400.
"All knowledge, the totality of all questions and answers, is contained
in the dog." - Franz Kafka
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