Martha Stewart Top Ten
The top 10 ways you know that Martha Stewart is stalking your dog:
10. There's potpourri hanging from his/her collar.
9. The dog's nails have been cut with pinking shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia.
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.
5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper
cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a #2 rosette tip.
4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting
material for the birds.
3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front of
your dog's crate.
2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme colored
virgin wool hand knitted sweater with matching boots.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR
DOG
IS...
1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.