Basic House Rules for Dogs
1. If you have to throw up, get into a chair, QUICKLY! If you can't
manage that in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no
Oriental rug is available, any good rug will do.
2. ALWAYS accompany guests to the bathroom. It's not necessary to do
anything; just sit and stare.
3. Do not allow closed doors in ANY room. To get a door opened,
stand on your hind legs and
hammer with your forepaws.
4. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the
cook. You cannot be seen and
thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up
and consoled with food.
5. Once a door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you've
ordered an outside door opened,
stand halfway in and halfway out and think about several things.
It's particularly important during
very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.
6. Begin people training early. You'll then have a smooth-running
household. Humans need to know the basic rules. They
can be taught if you start early and are consistent.